BHTP Friendships Multiply Joy, Divide Grief, and Give a Good Head of Steam to Quiet Tea Kettles Everywhere!
by Jennie Camp Hudgins
This year has been very exciting for Blue Hydrangea Tea Party! Our second tea party event date (May 12, 2007) brought more interest in our ovarian cancer awareness concept and we doubled our numbers from our inaugural year in 2006 – twice as many states and twice as much money raised – as we continue with our mission to spread the word about this cancer. Recently, Elizabeth and I were highlighted in the local December edition of Skirt! magazine for establishing our tea party concept as a fundraising tool for ovarian cancer awareness. The theme was “It’s Relative.” So, we have so much to celebrate as Blue Hydrangea Tea Party continues to gain momentum. But, as with any year, there were dessert journeys along with the mountain top experiences. Just recently, Elizabeth and I mourned the death of our friend, Joyce Bartless, who lost her battle with metastasized breast cancer. She had a servant’s heart and continued to help others as she battled cancer. She hosted a tea party at her home this year in memory of Ann, my sister and Elizabeth’s mother. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party meant so much to her that she created a scrapbook of its beginnings. She shared it with me in May and I was so touched by her support. She had lost two dear friends to ovarian cancer – my sister and another woman in their circle of friends – so Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was as near and dear to her heart as it is to ours. Joyce was the kind of person who easily made meaningful connections with people and had a way of making others feel special. She was a true southern lady - She will be forever in our hearts.
Unfortunately, Joyce wasn’t the first of our hostesses to pass away this year. In June, shortly after this year’s event date, we learned of the passing of Nancy Perry, here in the Columbia area. Nancy was quite a woman! The Nancy K. Perry Children’s Shelter was named in her honor in 1993, because of her dedication to children in need. The agency had existed since 1972, and she was active there for 35 years. She was the kind of civic-minded individual who puts us all to shame! I came to know of Nancy and her battle with ovarian cancer, through her cousin – our very first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostess - Candy Carberry of New York. Candy had honored Nancy at her 2006 party held in her home in New York. Candy was diagnosed early through the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry and has been a staunch supporter of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party from the beginning. Her enthusiasm was so contagious that Nancy decided that she wanted to host her own Blue Hydrangea Tea Party this year. As the date drew closer, though, Nancy’s health declined, as she was nearing the final stages of her cancer. However, since this lady was a power to be reckoned with, her fighting spirit prevailed and, with the help of friends, the party went on as planned. A month before Nancy’s death, Candy spoke of her cousin in an email to me. “I know our time together is running out, so I postponed my tea party (with my friend’s help) and flew down to South Carolina to be with her. (on May 12th, 2007) As sick as she was, Nancy was determined to go to her party. We rented a wheel chair, and away we went!!! It was lovely; her doctor even came and spoke about ovarian cancer….Nancy did ask me to speak about the meaning of the Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, which I was honored to do. I will cherish the memories of that day forever, and it meant so much to Nancy, also. She was so surprised. I love her like a sister; it was so hard to say goodbye…” Nancy died on June 23, 2007 and as one of her colleagues said, “all of our lives have a missing piece.”
So, we take time out to mourn these losses. These women will be missed by those of us who knew them, but their families live with that audible silence of having the voice of their loved one quieted by death. Their absence is felt and their presence is missed in every waking minute and even in sleep. And, somehow we all go forward, maybe even more determined. Their courageous walk through treatment, survival, and the shadow of death will forever haunt us and gives us the motivation to continue the fight in their honor and memory. As we begin the new year, I hope that you’ll consider hosting a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event on May 10, 2008. Elizabeth and I encourage you to join us as we “stir up the chatter” about ovarian cancer by bringing our friends and neighbors to the table for tea and into “the circle of awareness.” Our best to you in the coming year ~
Blue Hydrangea Tea Party Event Date:
May 10, 2008
**The Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event date is always the Saturday before Mothers’ Day. Contact us about choosing an alternate date if you’re interested.**