Party Profile: Joyce Bartless, South Carolina
by Jennie Camp Hudgins
For the most part, our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostesses have some connection with ovarian cancer. They might be a survivor or a family member of someone lost to the disease. In some cases, the hostess is a friend of someone with, or lost to, ovarian cancer. Joyce Bartless was just that kind of friend. She was one of my sister’s closest, in fact. But she, herself, was a breast cancer survivor. She had been diagnosed after my sister and another friend in their group were already into their struggles with ovarian cancer. So, for this small group of friends, half of them were fighting a deadly disease. Joyce had been cancer-free for some time when my sister and their other friend succumbed to their metastases only a couple of years apart. Unfortunately, before our first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, Joyce’s doctors discovered that she, herself, had a metastasis. Still, she whole-heartedly supported our efforts with Blue Hydrangea Tea Party.
She hosted a tea party at her home on May 19, 2007, along with two other friends of that small, close-knit group, Annette Lawton and Barbara Miles. Another friend of Joyce’s, Valerie Lowery, also helped host. This group had grieved the loss of not one but two friends, who had lost the battle with ovarian cancer. They prepared a smorgasbord of salads and other dishes for us to enjoy, as some of us had traveled from out of town. It was a lovely lunch with great fellowship. Of course, she served tea! Joyce spoke to the group before we dove into the food they had prepared. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was very special to her. She shared with me, for the first time, a scrapbook that she had prepared. To my surprise, she had kept everything from emails to the original invitation from the year before! It was enough to make me ball right there….Our emotions were especially raw that day. Elizabeth’s dad, my sister’s husband, had just been diagnosed with a serious heart condition, and the day was a bit abbreviated, because of our concern for him. He was recovering at home and unable to attend. The event just wasn’t the same without him. Still, we appreciated the efforts of this incomparable group of friends, and together we raised $1,400 for the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation through Joyce’s Blue Hydrangea Tea Party luncheon.
The day was beautiful and the environment at Joyce’s party was very relaxed. It was a gathering suitable for a mix of family and friends, complete with little ones! She set up the buffet on her kitchen island, and had seating available for those in attendance. Even with her menu, it would have been fine to have guests find a comfortable spot to balance their plate, though, because of the laid-back atmosphere. It was the perfect choice for this group of guests! Had it not been for us all having to scurry after lunch, I imagine it would have been the kind of day that everyone would have lingered for hours….The kind of day that would have seen conversation among small groups split between the men and women, with everyone enjoying the little ones. As it was, we had to leave early in order to check on our patient, who was eagerly awaiting details of the day’s event!
Joyce, along with Annette, Barbara, and Valerie, did a beautiful job in the midst of these unfortunate circumstances….Our whole family appreciated the work that went into the day. In spite of the timing, the day was still a very special event for all of us. It is a bittersweet memory that I have of Joyce standing before the group, as we gathered on the deck before lunch. In the months after that day, she learned that her cancer was progressing despite the efforts of her doctors to thwart it. And, for her family and friends the news continued to be hard to hear. There were ups and downs….The usual rollercoaster ride that cancer treatment seems to be famous for. But, Joyce was typical of these heroic women we all know, who have done battle with cancer. She dealt with each discouraging pronouncement with grace and dignity, and she fought with every ounce of her being. She passed away suddenly during the course of this battle. And, I still don’t think I have completely comprehended it, because she was such a vibrant person. I never saw her again, after that day last May, and the memory that I have of her is the way I’d like to remember her forever….a sweet and supportive friend, who loved like she fought – with every ounce of her being.
Blue Hydrangea Tea Party has chosen the Saturday before Mothers’ Day each year as our target date, but hostesses are welcomed to choose alternate dates that might be more convenient for them and their guests.