Party Profile: Office Tea, Michigan
Hostess, Robin Mosher
A small party is still better than no party at all is what we always say! And, a successful party in spite of a few obstacles is even better, because it’s a great lesson in perseverance. At this party, not even an unexpected glitch could dampen a great time. Robin reported that they had planned for a larger crowd. But, she said, “illness kept a whole group away.” Six guests DID attend, though, and their enthusiasm for Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was strong! Robin’s party raised $100, earmarked for ovarian cancer that went to the American Cancer Society. We commend this group for going forward with the party when they could have cancelled! As we told Robin, “just remember that it’s $100.00 more than they (the ACS) had the day before!!” If there’s one thing we’ve learned along the way, it is never be afraid to try. If you do nothing you’re assured to fail. Way to go, Robin!

Party Profile: Memory Tea, South Carolina
Hostesses, Monty Richardson; Linda Anderson; and Judy Mitchell
In our hometown in upstate South Carolina, there is an elementary school where Ann (Elizabeth’s mother/Jennie’s sister) was an assistant in the preschool for many years. The school has been so kind to remember Ann in very special ways. They created a lovely garden and held a ceremony to dedicate it to her memory, in the years after her death. For the last two years, the faculty and staff have participated in a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event, in memory of Ann, in the school’s teachers’ lounge. They do this as a “drop-in” so that teachers and other staff can come in when they have a break. They set up a memory board with pictures of Ann and have ovarian cancer awareness literature available, as well. Last year, they took a cue from one of our other hostesses and had door prizes! In the two years they have done this they have raised $360.00 for the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation. We are very appreciative of all of the kindnesses shown to our family and to Ann’s memory by this special group of people. We raise our tea cups to you!

As May 10, 2008 nears and we find ourselves giddy with anticipation for what this year will bring, we would like to thank all of our hostesses for their support. If you’ve ever hosted a tea party for us, you are part of the success of this event. We reflect on the past three years with awe and thanksgiving for the amazing grace shown us. It is, indeed, a blessing to make a difference in this life. We are grateful for the opportunity! We hope that those who want to get involved with ovarian cancer awareness and research will do so by volunteering to host a tea party - We are ALWAYS eager to register parties, even for alternate dates. So, don’t hesitate to contact us with your ideas for your very own Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event! And, as always, contact us with your questions. We hope you will all stay tuned to the blog for the results of our efforts, as we go forward. We have a great group of hostesses this year, who are creatively preparing to inspire their guests - To them we send our best wishes. You are the folks who make things happen out there on the front lines, so to speak. Without your willingness to get involved our concept would be a fundraising vehicle with no wheels! We look forward to hearing from each of you after the crumbs have been swept away and the tea cups are safely stored. Please remember to include your donation total, a few details from the day, and some digital photos that we might share here at the website blog. Thank you, again, for your gracious hospitality, ladies!

Many thanks to the women who have planned the following Blue Hydrangea Tea Party events for this year~

April 20, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor and volunteer for Ovarian Cancer Awareness of Kentucky (O.A.K.), Cindy Adams, chaired the committee for a progressive tea party in the historic shopping district of LaGrange, Kentucky. 100% of each donation of $10 or more went to the O.A.K. Cindy reports that they raised $2,370. They hope to make this a yearly event. Great work, Cindy!

May 3 - 10, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor, Missy Lafave, will donate a portion of her sales at The Marketplace at Alpena, to the Alpena Cancer Center, in Alpena, Michigan.

May 3, 2008
Amanda Beachboard hosted a tea party in Delaware to benefit the NOCC - Delaware Division. She reports that “it was awesome!” Eleven ladies attended and they raised $225. Thank you so much, Mandy, for getting involved to bring other women into the “circle of awareness.” Kudos to you!

May 9, 2008
The Tiara Tea Society Chairperson, Regina Gately, has planned an event in conjunction with the Community Association Management of Sun City in Huntley, Illinois, to benefit the NOCC - Illinois Division.

May 9, 2008
The Riverbanks Region of the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation (a partner member of the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance/OCNA) will be the beneficiary of an event sponsored by South Carolina Oncology Associates and the SCOA Cares Foundation. Dianne Neglia, Jane Williams, and the other members of the BHTP committee of the SCOCF-Riverbanks Region and Meredith Anderson of SCOA and the SCOA Cares Foundation have been working diligently behind the scenes to prepare for this event, which is open to the public. It will be held at 12:00noon at The Hall (formerly Sterling Garden Center), 320 Senate St., Columbia, SC.

May 10, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor and “veteran” hostess, Candy Carberry, will host a tea party in New York to benefit the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry .

May 10, 2008
Lisa Sutton, a “former-tea-party-guest-turned-hostess,” will host a tea party in New York to benefit the OCNA.

May 10, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor, Melanie Finley, will host a tea party in Florida to benefit a newly formed foundation there.

May 10, 2008
Diana Fierro will host a tea party in New York to benefit Gilda’s Club of White Plains.

May 10, 2008
Blanche West and her group at the River Valley chapter of the NOCC will host a community event to be held at the Reynolds Cancer Support House in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

May 10, 2008
Kathy Church will host a Mother-Daughter tea party in South Carolina to benefit the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.

On the Saturday before Mothers’ Day this year, the family of Ann Camp McCune, in whose memory Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was established three years ago, will gather in Columbia, SC, for their annual luncheon to benefit the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation. We will be thinking of Ann, our hostesses and their guests, other families affected by death from ovarian cancer, and ovarian cancer survivors everywhere! May we all come to understand better the insidious nature of this disease and fight for early detection for the future.

With much appreciation to our tea party hostesses, past and present, and all of their guests~
Jennie & Elizabeth

Occasionally, the world is blessed with a child who exhibits the traits of, what some may refer to as, “an old soul.” You know what I mean, I’m sure. A child with the heart and soul of a much older, wiser person. There’s a little girl in Kentucky, named Lindsay, who is just that kind of child. And, I must say, Elizabeth and I were nearly speechless when we heard this 9 year-old’s story.

Linsay is the granddaughter of an ovarian cancer survivor. She and her “Grammy” are very close. When her grandmother, Ramona, was diagnosed, Lindsay was deeply affected. But, this child - in the midst of her own pain - began to come up with a plan to help others with cancer. Her grandmother’s positive attitude, in response to this devastating diagnosis, was a model for Lindsay. So, Lindsay decided that she, too, would respond to the devastating news with something positive. She wanted to raise money for cancer research. At first, her idea was to embark on a door-to-door sale of lemonade. As most mothers would these days, Lindsay’s mother, Lori, had reservations about this idea and began to search the internet for other options. In the meantime, on behalf of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, Elizabeth contacted an organization in Kentucky, Ovarian Cancer Awareness of Kentucky (O.A.K.), with information about our tea party events. They were kind enough to put our information on their website. So, as Lori and Lindsay searched the internet, they learned of our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party concept at the O.A.K. site! Lori said, “We decided that the perfect thing would be to host a tea to increase awareness for ovarian cancer.” Lindsay’s Godmother, Barbara, helped in the planning of this Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event by securing the Whitehall Historic Home in Louisville. Lori said, “It was a perfectly elegant setting for our formal English tea.” And, Lindsay created a very special poster about Blue Hydrangea Tea Party! There were lots of smiles that day, as these ladies found joy in this celebration. It truly wasn’t far off Lindsay’s original idea of selling lemonade – she still managed to make something sweet out of a very sour, unpleasant experience in her young life. What a special day this must have been! Lindsay and her mom were very grateful for the support of their friends and neighbors. Together they raised $2,900 for O.A.K. Lori wrote to Elizabeth, “We have put our hearts into this cause and this tea party.”

Indeed, they did, and it was a beautiful event judging from the photos Lori shared with us. Lori reports that her mother, Ramona, is doing well these days. “She continues to be strong and is truly an inspiration,” says Lori. I asked her how this has affected the way she looks at her own health, having her mother diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Lori says that she has been vigilant, watching for any signs of this cancer in herself, and she encourages other women to do the same. She is a vocal advocate for awareness and volunteers for the cause. She tells me that she has offered to share their Blue Hydrangea Tea Party experience with other ladies in their area, who might wish to participate. She says, “We speak of the Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event very often, as it holds a treasured spot in our lives. I urge others to participate in these parties.”

Lindsay is now a year older and no doubt even wiser! And, there is definitely no doubt that she is happy that her “Grammy” is doing so well these days. Elizabeth and I wish Lindsay; her mother, Lori; her grandmother, Ramona; and her Godmother, Barbara, our very best wishes. We are grateful to you for sharing your story with us and for bringing other women into the circle of awareness with your lovely tea party.

Like most of our tea parties, this one has a unique story behind it, one that spans a year and many miles! In May 2006, our very first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostess, Candy Carberry, held her tea party in New York. In her “after-party report,” she spoke of those she honored with her party, one of them being her cousin, Nancy Perry, who was doing battle with ovarian cancer. Nancy, she said, was from South Carolina and was a very hard-working advocate for children in the area, with an agency named for her. I checked out her work through the website for the agency and couldn’t believe that this treasure of a woman lived so near – Isn’t it ironic how often we find treasures right under our noses? I couldn’t believe how coming to know Candy way up there in New York state had also shown me a local hero living right here in South Carolina, in fact, in the next county!

So, as the second year of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party began to come into view for us, we experienced a moment of extreme exhilaration, when we received a party registration from a group of women who had learned of our concept through Nancy Perry! They desired to hold this tea party in her honor. They gave me the specifics of their plans and the list of hostesses involved with the event. Of course, we were beyond thrilled that our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party idea had spread, through word of mouth, from South Carolina to New York, then back to South Carolina, again! It was like so many of the “God-winks” we had experienced throughout the journey to get established as an ovarian cancer awareness event and fundraising tool. So, there were mental high-fives across cyberspace, as Elizabeth and I shared an outbreak of goose bumps!

Time went forward and the next update I received about Nancy’s party came in an email on May 21, 2007 from Candy. I learned then that, apparently, Nancy’s health had begun to fail in the midst of planning a party. After Candy’s party that first year, Nancy decided that she, too, wanted to serve as a hostess for a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event. So, with her desire expressed, folks around her knew of her intentions. The hostesses I had heard from (Evon, Linda, Ann, Lou Ellen, Jorene, and Lois) had taken over for Nancy, when it seemed she wouldn’t be able to carry out the party plans without help. And, it turned into an opportunity to honor Nancy, as well. Nancy was a very determined fighter in her professional life as a social worker, specializing in adoption and child/family services. These qualities were certainly evident as she battled ovarian cancer and sought to be an advocate for ovarian cancer awareness by following through with her tea party, even as she was succumbing, physically, to the disease. Candy wrote to me that she knew Nancy’s battle was nearing an end and that their time together was running out. Candy had postponed her own party to fly to South Carolina to be with Nancy for her very own Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. “As sick as she was, Nancy was determined to go to her party,” Candy wrote. Nancy had wanted to participate in her tea party so badly that, in spite of her failing health, they rented a wheel chair and, Candy wrote, “away we went!!!” Nancy’s spirit was still strong despite the obvious.

Candy reported that Nancy’s doctor, Dr. James A. Williams, Jr., spoke about ovarian cancer. And, Nancy asked Candy to speak about the meaning of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. From Candy’s email, it sounds as though it was a perfect day, full of meaningful moments to last a life time and filled with some surprises for Nancy - a woman who so richly improved her community. Nancy passed away June 23, 2007. In the months after that day, I received a report from Evon, one of the other hostesses of Nancy’s party. They raised $2,155.00 for the South Carolina Oncology Associates Cares Foundation, where Nancy had received treatment for her ovarian cancer. Attached to the email report that I received was the letter that had been sent to this organization with the donation, and in it was this sentiment…..“all of our lives have a missing piece.”

Nancy was truly a woman to be reckoned with. Her character was evident in her last days. Her wonderful legacy is more than just the Nancy K. Perry Children’s Shelter; it extends farther, even to the people who have been associated with her vision and her energy for doing good things in her community. They will go forward with a shining example of stewardship. In the end, what was left in her energy reserves she used not on herself but to benefit others. The cause of ovarian cancer awareness in South Carolina took another step forward on May 12, 2007. And, I believe that the quest to educate women about ovarian cancer will continue to move forward, because of women like Nancy, her colleagues, and friends, who graciously and selflessly volunteer their energies toward this endeavor.

Nancy and Candy (photo courtesy of the Perry family)

For the most part, our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostesses have some connection with ovarian cancer. They might be a survivor or a family member of someone lost to the disease. In some cases, the hostess is a friend of someone with, or lost to, ovarian cancer. Joyce Bartless was just that kind of friend. She was one of my sister’s closest, in fact. But she, herself, was a breast cancer survivor. She had been diagnosed after my sister and another friend in their group were already into their struggles with ovarian cancer. So, for this small group of friends, half of them were fighting a deadly disease. Joyce had been cancer-free for some time when my sister and their other friend succumbed to their metastases only a couple of years apart. Unfortunately, before our first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, Joyce’s doctors discovered that she, herself, had a metastasis. Still, she whole-heartedly supported our efforts with Blue Hydrangea Tea Party.

She hosted a tea party at her home on May 19, 2007, along with two other friends of that small, close-knit group, Annette Lawton and Barbara Miles. Another friend of Joyce’s, Valerie Lowery, also helped host. This group had grieved the loss of not one but two friends, who had lost the battle with ovarian cancer. They prepared a smorgasbord of salads and other dishes for us to enjoy, as some of us had traveled from out of town. It was a lovely lunch with great fellowship. Of course, she served tea! Joyce spoke to the group before we dove into the food they had prepared. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was very special to her. She shared with me, for the first time, a scrapbook that she had prepared. To my surprise, she had kept everything from emails to the original invitation from the year before! It was enough to make me ball right there….Our emotions were especially raw that day. Elizabeth’s dad, my sister’s husband, had just been diagnosed with a serious heart condition, and the day was a bit abbreviated, because of our concern for him. He was recovering at home and unable to attend. The event just wasn’t the same without him. Still, we appreciated the efforts of this incomparable group of friends, and together we raised $1,400 for the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation through Joyce’s Blue Hydrangea Tea Party luncheon.

The day was beautiful and the environment at Joyce’s party was very relaxed. It was a gathering suitable for a mix of family and friends, complete with little ones! She set up the buffet on her kitchen island, and had seating available for those in attendance. Even with her menu, it would have been fine to have guests find a comfortable spot to balance their plate, though, because of the laid-back atmosphere. It was the perfect choice for this group of guests! Had it not been for us all having to scurry after lunch, I imagine it would have been the kind of day that everyone would have lingered for hours….The kind of day that would have seen conversation among small groups split between the men and women, with everyone enjoying the little ones. As it was, we had to leave early in order to check on our patient, who was eagerly awaiting details of the day’s event!

Joyce, along with Annette, Barbara, and Valerie, did a beautiful job in the midst of these unfortunate circumstances….Our whole family appreciated the work that went into the day. In spite of the timing, the day was still a very special event for all of us. It is a bittersweet memory that I have of Joyce standing before the group, as we gathered on the deck before lunch. In the months after that day, she learned that her cancer was progressing despite the efforts of her doctors to thwart it. And, for her family and friends the news continued to be hard to hear. There were ups and downs….The usual rollercoaster ride that cancer treatment seems to be famous for. But, Joyce was typical of these heroic women we all know, who have done battle with cancer. She dealt with each discouraging pronouncement with grace and dignity, and she fought with every ounce of her being. She passed away suddenly during the course of this battle. And, I still don’t think I have completely comprehended it, because she was such a vibrant person. I never saw her again, after that day last May, and the memory that I have of her is the way I’d like to remember her forever….a sweet and supportive friend, who loved like she fought – with every ounce of her being.

Blue Hydrangea Tea Party has chosen the Saturday before Mothers’ Day each year as our target date, but hostesses are welcomed to choose alternate dates that might be more convenient for them and their guests.

Welcome to March - In our area it has, indeed, come in like a lion! The prospect of spring always energizes me. I have the predicament of having a surplus of ideas with a deficit of energy, so spring is like a strong cup of Irish Breakfast tea for me! As March ushers in the season, it reminds me of my father. His birthdate was in March. Once, I threw a party for him at my home and he so enjoyed it, because it was the first birthday party he’d ever experienced. As a child he’d never had most of the simple pleasures that we all take for granted. My sister is, also, heavy on my mind during the month of March. It was around this time of year that she was beginning her initial treatment phase for ovarian cancer. Her married name was McCune, so with her connection to St. Patrick’s Day, I made her a huge basket using this as a theme! It is true that certain times of the year….certain seasons….are harder for those of us who have lost loved ones. These seasons cause us to grieve a little more at their loss. I do still grieve. But, I smile, as well, because these seasons remind me of how strong my family was, both in times of celebration and in times of crisis. Although, I still miss the fellowship of my parents and my large scattered family, I have vivid memories of the years we had together that I keep on a continuous loop in my mind!

Time plays some hateful tricks on us….It grows little babies into adults with babies….It takes grandparents and replaces them with their “understudies”….And, it scatters us all like little seeds blowing in a March wind. Time waits for no one….It moves forward….The only way we can hold on to time is through our memories. And, how we struggle with this concept of memory-making. It seems we spend our early years trying to get out from under the requests of our parents to fellowship with our extended families, only to spend the latter years trying to re-create that same fellowship we sometimes begrudged those who loved us the most! And, the cycle goes on….The young families are repeating the patterns of youth and won’t understand the gravity of missed opportunities until they, themselves, are in the second half of their lives. I believe they call this “the circle of life”….It is one of the many things in life that must take its own course, for it seems no matter how hard we try, we cannot alter life’s natural seasons.

We come to realize, in our own time, the fragility of life and the tragedy of missed opportunities. The seasons pass us by and soon we’re looking at life differently. There is a song that I love to sing along to, Who Am I? by Casting Crowns….A line from that song says “I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind”….The song isn’t meant to be fatalistic; it has another message, thankfully! But, it is a reminder of the limited time we have to make a difference here on this earth. Many women have had their plans and their lives interrupted by cancer….Hopes and dreams evaporate like vapor in the wind at the sound of a doctor’s voice announcing a diagnosis of cancer. Everything changes. I’ve heard countless people say that the things that mattered a half second before the utterance of a cancer diagnosis don’t matter much on the other side of that moment. But, by grace go the rest of us….Should we simply walk on, not looking back at those who have fallen? When we decide to turn around and look, and run back to help the fallen get up again, will we have waited too long and missed the opportunity?

There will be a natural course for the ovarian cancer awareness movement, just as there has been for all of the high-profile diseases. It will take time….It will take money….And, unfortunately, it will take more deaths for people to take notice. But, instead of waiting on awareness to trickle down to us, we can take awareness where it needs to be – in our everyday conversations. Through Blue Hydrangea Tea Party events, we can share the stories of those who have fought the disease and those who are still fighting it. We can share the successes and dispel the myths. We can keep talking about the symptoms and supporting the agencies that do the work of awareness. We can even make some wonderful memories! Yes, we will probably struggle to get large numbers of women to commit and follow through with their commitments to host parties. We might usher in this season of awareness more like a lamb than a lion. But, those who actually do serve as tea party hostesses will create a day that will play over and over in a loop for their guests’ memories….And, more importantly, the day might produce one piece of information that plays over and over in one woman’s mind that causes her to seek a doctor’s opinion. That might be the most important memory of all….vital information. If, through these awareness tea parties, one woman gets an early diagnosis because another woman took the opportunity to throw a party, then the circle of awareness will have widened exponentially….Each of these women will have their own story to tell and many other women will have an opportunity and a venue to hear from them….And, time will do its thing, as it usually does…. But, the stories will be memories frozen in time, to be repeated in a continuous loop. And, we will not have any regrets. We will know that for a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of fleeting moments, we will have made a simple decision to turn and look back….to notice the women who have fallen….to go back for them and help them up. However quietly we usher other women into the future knowing more than they did in the past about ovarian cancer, we will not have missed the opportunity. And, we will have made difference.

Our mission is to bring more and more women into the circle of awareness…..by stirring up the chatter about ovarian cancer. There is easy conversation among small groups of women…..in intimate settings…..where there is fellowship and fun. There is understanding where women share their hospitality…..share their stories…..and share the facts about ovarian cancer.

With that in mind, Blue Hydrangea Tea Party continues to register private parties, where guests make individual donations to the agency their hostess has chosen to support with her tea party event. We no longer register public events, where an admission fee covers the expenses incurred by the hostess and the donation amount. (This restriction does not apply to non-profit organizations such as ovarian cancer awareness agencies and foundations/funds established for ovarian cancer research. They are welcomed and encouraged to sponsor Blue Hydrangea Tea Party events for the public that benefit their organizations.) While we do not want to discourage individual participation in awareness and fundraising for the cause, we must be careful to protect the interests of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party and its work. We believe that our mission is still clear and strong as we work to bring women into the circle of awareness.

Anytime there is a simple concept, people find a way to complicate it! We believe that our mission can be accomplished by simple means, and we are determined to stay on the path that will raise money for the cause of ovarian cancer awareness and research and not create administrative costs for Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. We want our efforts to generate monies that go toward the needs of the ovarian cancer awareness agencies that work to educate women about all aspects of ovarian cancer. We are a tool to help them do their work. Nothing holds a candle to the giving spirit of women, and Blue Hydrangea Tea Party has experienced amazing grace through our hostesses. We know they will continue to respond to the plight of their friends and neighbors. And, we will continue with our simple mission to take on ovarian cancer awareness, one tea party at a time!

This year has been very exciting for Blue Hydrangea Tea Party! Our second tea party event date (May 12, 2007) brought more interest in our ovarian cancer awareness concept and we doubled our numbers from our inaugural year in 2006 – twice as many states and twice as much money raised – as we continue with our mission to spread the word about this cancer. Recently, Elizabeth and I were highlighted in the local December edition of Skirt! magazine for establishing our tea party concept as a fundraising tool for ovarian cancer awareness. The theme was “It’s Relative.” So, we have so much to celebrate as Blue Hydrangea Tea Party continues to gain momentum. But, as with any year, there were dessert journeys along with the mountain top experiences. Just recently, Elizabeth and I mourned the death of our friend, Joyce Bartless, who lost her battle with metastasized breast cancer. She had a servant’s heart and continued to help others as she battled cancer. She hosted a tea party at her home this year in memory of Ann, my sister and Elizabeth’s mother. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party meant so much to her that she created a scrapbook of its beginnings. She shared it with me in May and I was so touched by her support. She had lost two dear friends to ovarian cancer – my sister and another woman in their circle of friends – so Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was as near and dear to her heart as it is to ours. Joyce was the kind of person who easily made meaningful connections with people and had a way of making others feel special. She was a true southern lady - She will be forever in our hearts.

Unfortunately, Joyce wasn’t the first of our hostesses to pass away this year. In June, shortly after this year’s event date, we learned of the passing of Nancy Perry, here in the Columbia area. Nancy was quite a woman! The Nancy K. Perry Children’s Shelter was named in her honor in 1993, because of her dedication to children in need. The agency had existed since 1972, and she was active there for 35 years. She was the kind of civic-minded individual who puts us all to shame! I came to know of Nancy and her battle with ovarian cancer, through her cousin – our very first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostess - Candy Carberry of New York. Candy had honored Nancy at her 2006 party held in her home in New York. Candy was diagnosed early through the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry and has been a staunch supporter of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party from the beginning. Her enthusiasm was so contagious that Nancy decided that she wanted to host her own Blue Hydrangea Tea Party this year. As the date drew closer, though, Nancy’s health declined, as she was nearing the final stages of her cancer. However, since this lady was a power to be reckoned with, her fighting spirit prevailed and, with the help of friends, the party went on as planned. A month before Nancy’s death, Candy spoke of her cousin in an email to me. “I know our time together is running out, so I postponed my tea party (with my friend’s help) and flew down to South Carolina to be with her. (on May 12th, 2007) As sick as she was, Nancy was determined to go to her party. We rented a wheel chair, and away we went!!! It was lovely; her doctor even came and spoke about ovarian cancer….Nancy did ask me to speak about the meaning of the Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, which I was honored to do. I will cherish the memories of that day forever, and it meant so much to Nancy, also. She was so surprised. I love her like a sister; it was so hard to say goodbye…” Nancy died on June 23, 2007 and as one of her colleagues said, “all of our lives have a missing piece.”

So, we take time out to mourn these losses. These women will be missed by those of us who knew them, but their families live with that audible silence of having the voice of their loved one quieted by death. Their absence is felt and their presence is missed in every waking minute and even in sleep. And, somehow we all go forward, maybe even more determined. Their courageous walk through treatment, survival, and the shadow of death will forever haunt us and gives us the motivation to continue the fight in their honor and memory. As we begin the new year, I hope that you’ll consider hosting a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event on May 10, 2008. Elizabeth and I encourage you to join us as we “stir up the chatter” about ovarian cancer by bringing our friends and neighbors to the table for tea and into “the circle of awareness.” Our best to you in the coming year ~

Blue Hydrangea Tea Party Event Date:
May 10, 2008

**The Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event date is always the Saturday before Mothers’ Day. Contact us about choosing an alternate date if you’re interested.**

It’s nearly Christmas (and Hanukkah for my Jewish friends), and I’m thinking about springtime and blue hydrangeas! When January rolls around, Elizabeth and I will begin, in earnest, to promote this year’s Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event. We have adopted “Stir Up The Chatter!” as our theme for Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. Sort of a double entendre, I guess….a play on words. I hope that it will define our mission clearly enough that you will all want to chat up a storm about ovarian cancer awareness, as you would any good gossip! I can just see a group of ladies sitting around a lovely table, flamboyant in formal tea party attire, complete with hats and white gloves, stirring tea and chatting in hushed tones about what they saw the deacon’s wife doing on Sunday! Well, here’s an opportunity for those of you who enjoy exercising your gift of hospitality AND for those of you who have a need to be in the circle and not miss out on the latest chatter. And, if ever “good” and “gossip” could be used together, this is it….Spreading the word about ovarian cancer awareness is good gossip!

Ladies, in the spirit of good gossip, I won’t bore you with statistics, but trust me when I say, “The numbers don’t look good.” Why? Because ovarian cancer is difficult to diagnose in its early stages…It is rarely caught before it has metastasized to other areas within the body – other organs can become secondary sites for cancer and make beating it a constant struggle. Here is another secret: Pap smears do not detect ovarian cancer; they detect cervical cancer. How do we detect ovarian cancer? These days everyone’s abuzz with “the symptoms list.” “Symptoms?” you say. These symptoms include gastrointestinal-type symptoms. Hopefully, your doctor would never send you away with unresolved GI symptoms without a follow-up for ovarian cancer. Shhhhh…..Another secret is that they might….Ooops. Would you question the wisdom of your doctor? You would if you knew that, in the past, before the symptoms list, they might not have associated these symptoms with ovarian cancer. Ahhh, but this is the kind of thing the ovarian cancer awareness groups have been working on for years! This is just the kind of knowledge and information you would not know, if it weren’t for these wonderful agencies that we are raising money to support! They have been using this list long before it was officially adopted, so women who have been enlightened by these educational agencies have had this information for awhile now. This wasn’t a secret to be kept. Women trust the advice of other women, so woman to woman: Take control of your own health and request what you need to keep yourself healthy. Now, share this advice with a few of your friends and help bring other women into the circle of awareness.

And, while you are at it, share another secret about ovarian cancer, so that women will learn what isn’t known about this disease….Researchers haven’t quite figured out a way to detect this cancer early. For most women, it is a secret that we don’t have a screening tool to detect ovarian cancer in its early stages….Confused? Translation: Yes, we have NO screening tool! Women need to know that we have so much more to learn about ovarian cancer….There’s a long road ahead for us to get to the same level of awareness and screening abilities as breast cancer. While there are breast cancer patients still losing the battle, women have the opportunity for screening for breast cancer that they don’t have with ovarian cancer. As our collective voice gets louder, our needs will be heard more and more and won’t be such a secret! So, be part of the growing voice for ovarian cancer needs. Share these “secrets” with your friends….We need a screening tool! We can’t afford to wait for the symptoms! We need research!

Thankfully, our awareness agencies work for more research, as well as, awareness of symptoms. So, by funding them, we fund their ability to promote research. Please contact the local office of the ovarian cancer awareness agency you choose to support with your Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, and they will happily provide literature and awareness paraphernalia for your tea party guests. However, you may prefer to take a more direct route. We can help you find a research facility to support, if you’d like to exercise that option. Also, this year, we would like to provide each of our hostesses with Blue Hydrangea Tea Party brochures/bookmarks to be distributed to their guests, so please provide a mailing address when you register.

Plan to break out the white gloves and good china on May 10th, 2008 as you bring other women into the circle of awareness and stir up the chatter about ovarian cancer with Blue Hydrangea Tea Party!

Check out the Party Profiles section of our blog to read the personal stories of our tea party hostesses!

Congratulations to the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation on their first “Handbags for Hope” event! This will be their signature event that hopefully will draw more and more ladies each year. I was thrilled to participate by designing and creating two handbags - One for fans of the University of South Carolina and one for fans of Clemson University. Each was signed by their respective head football coach, Steve Spurrier and Tommy Bowden! The South Carolina purse brought $245 and the Clemson purse brought $240 in the silent auction held on September 27, 2007. Janet Rigdon, Executive Director for the SCOCF, was awestruck as the women poured in for the event held in Greenville, SC. She and her hardworking crew hosted 275 ladies that evening and sold 110 handbags. With the assistance of sponsorships that helped cover the cost of the event, they were able to raise $14,320 from the sale of the donated handbags. Proceeds went to the SCOCF, which is a partner member of the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance. For more information on the event and to see the purses donated, visit their website www.scovariancancer.org

We invite you to contribute to our “Ovarian Cancer Chatter” here at Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. Email us to share either your experiences as an ovarian cancer survivor or to share information about ovarian cancer awareness.

It seems that the month of August mirrored a well-crafted script from what is often referred to as a “critically acclaimed” movie. In reality it revealed the plight of three women I know who are battling cancer. Two have experienced metastases of breast cancer and the other is fighting the ongoing fight of ovarian cancer. I’m struck by the symbolism. As in this case of only 3 women, on the whole more women suffer from breast cancer than ovarian cancer; however, in all cases, these women are fighting the good fight to survive some form of cancer that all women are at risk for, and we should all take notice that the battle isn’t won on either fronts. Breast cancer continues to be an aggressive cancer, in many cases giving aggressive treatment regimens an opposite and equal return volley, in spite of the technological advancements in screening and constant education on self-exam. On the other hand, ovarian cancer continues to be the most difficult to diagnose and survive, because we don’t have a sophisticated screening tool to catch it in its early stages.

These days everyone’s talking about the new “symptoms list” for ovarian cancer. While I’m thrilled with having these symptoms out there and in the minds of both the women who might be experiencing them and the healthcare crowd who might be listening to them rattled off in succession, the reality is that, until we can screen for ovarian cancer and detect it when it is confined to the ovary, knowing and recognizing these symptoms is going to do very little to decrease the mortality rate due to organ metastasis. If we consider the facts, we can get perspective on this concept of symptoms leading us to get an early diagnosis – a Stage One diagnosis – for ovarian cancer. The ovary is the size of an almond. It is buried under layers of muscle, fat, and skin. Most of us lay-women couldn’t palpate our own ovaries if we were in an anorexic state. A tumor growing in or on the ovary wouldn’t make it any easier I’m afraid. The pressure inside your body from something so small wouldn’t provoke any alarming symptoms either, I gather. I say this because I know women who have carried 8 and 9 pound babies at delivery, without so much as a complaint of frequent urination! I hope you’ll pardon my skepticism, but my frame of reference is my own sister’s physical symptoms at the time of her ovarian cancer diagnosis. Yes, she had many, if not all, of the symptoms on the list. But, she was at Stage Three at the time of her diagnosis. Her ovary was unrecognizable and completely consumed by cancerous growth that ensnared a portion of her colon and rooted itself in the omentum (the surrounding tissue of the peritoneum that covers the intestines). Her CA125 reading was in the 600’s. The time for early diagnosis had long passed by the time she was experiencing noticeable gastrointestinal symptoms that caused her to seek medical expertise.

While everyone in the ovarian cancer awareness community is thankful for this step in officially adopting the symptoms of ovarian cancer, I am sure we all recognize the limitations of this method of diagnosis. For those of you who like analogies, it’s like offering a bandage to someone who is suffering from an arterial injury. A bandage isn’t going to change the ultimate outcome. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party supports these organizations and trusts their motives in embracing the symptoms list and educating women about its pronouncement. We will continue to work to help support these organizations. But, we consider the need for a screening tool to be paramount in early diagnosis, where true survival is possible. Our concern is that the symptoms list will bring about complacency in the minds of women, as though the battle has been won. It has not and is far from even being waged, much less won! The goal is winning the battle against ovarian cancer so that more women live cancer free for the rest of their natural lives. The first step toward winning this battle should be waging a successful fight for early diagnosis. Until there is some evidence to support that the symptoms list is saving lives in a measurable way, we cannot claim to be making progress. Let’s remember how long the breast cancer awareness community has been at this, and they have nationwide support and education in place, along with technological advances in screening to give breast cancer patients a fighting chance. Many women truly survive breast cancer without another recurrence. Their survival is not always overshadowed by treatment that ends with death.

Our fight has just begun. We need to focus on what will give an ovarian cancer patient their fighting chance – a Stage One diagnosis. This will come in the form of a screening tool. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party will continue to hold this position and encourage funding for research into this option, as well as our other goal of helping to fund the agencies who educate women about ovarian cancer symptoms and offer emotional support to ovarian cancer patients. They, too, would like a screening tool. The masses can bring one voice to the need for research and the introduction of a tool that can detect ovarian cancer in its beginnings. Please join Blue Hydrangea Tea Party and make this voice louder as the awareness tea parties stir up ovarian cancer chatter across the country!

Blue Hydrangea Tea Party 2008
Event Date: May 10, 2008

STIR UP THE CHATTER!
Register a party now and plan to bring other women into the ovarian cancer circle of awareness~

This year join the conversation about ovarian cancer. We welcome your personal experiences or any relevant information concerning ovarian cancer by emailing your comments to us.